I remember my mom saying to me, "You're going to go from having one mom to loads of moms" and - there's no surprises here - she was right. Last year, on my first mothers day without a mother I found it very daunting and isolating but this year I'm procrastinating life itself. (it's a Sunday okay) But what my mom said to me two years ago has really stuck with me. I had a sense of many mothers before but now they are much more prominent. None of my moms, or any woman for that matter will beat my mommy (I'm sorry but she really is quite flawless js).

I'm not sure why I chose those pictures for todays blog post. They're from the last family holiday we had in 2013, a holiday which had many smiles and laughs (and accidental breakages of not-our-things). I hold the memories so close to my heart.

Today I'd like to say happy Mother's day to my Nannie, my moms mom and my Grandma, my dads mom. I'm sorry I don't really talk to you much but we both know I love you a lottle (it's like a little except a lot). And to Jacqui and Clare, my god mothers, both well chosen by the queen bee herself. She liked you both very much and I really can see why, I love you both. And to Lynda, I remember you whispering in my ear the day before you headed back to you new home in Australia, "I love you like a daughter", which meant a lot as your real daughter is like a sister to me and I couldn't say "I love you like a mother" because my oh my there was a boulder in my throat and tears in my eyes. And to Annie Bates. My brothers "gudmovver", who has adopted me as her babiest daughter. You make me laugh and by heck your pigs in blankets are GOOD!

And I thank all of my newfound mothers for helping me with the loss of my favourite mother, and I hope I comforted you in return in some way or another. I owe you all so much.

I've never wanted to buy flowers so much in my life, I never thought I'd want to buy flowers for anybody. My mom did like flowers, which I still don't understand, you have to feed them and arrange them and even then they'll shortly die but at least they bring beauty for a few days. And maybe that's all part of life for humans. You mom feeds you and makes you look pretty, sets you up for your purpose only for you to wither away at the end of it all. I guess sometimes it's not so fairytale. I love and miss you so much mom, I hope I'm doing you proud - I do try most days.