Hello friends, I hope you all had a pleasant Christmas. I understand how it may not be very merry for many people, poor, alone or thinking of absent friends and family members. And if you don't celebrate Christmas, a very happy Friday to you (for yesterday). This is my last post of the year - Whaaaaatt? I have really enjoyed blogging and I hope to continue it as long as I can, doing my best to keep it regularly updated (every Saturday don't forget).

I have written down 5 new years resolutions for myself (in my lovely Sprinkle Of Glitter diary no less) : to get fitter, learn to drive and pass my tests (if I get a car by the time 2017 comes around then bonus!) establish my sense of style both in my bedroom and wardrobe, land myself a job in the photography industry, and feel the fear and do it anyway. Those are my main 5 I want to achieve next year.

However New Years is very hard for me, I have the memory of myself two years ago burnt into my brain. At a small pub in a village somewhere, we went to tag along for a new year holiday with family friends. We only stayed for the night of new year and slept on the sofas in the rented house but I very vividly recall leaving the pub a few minutes before midnight and looking up at the stars as cheers faintly echoed around. And I cried. And then somebody hugged me I'm not sure who first I think everybody did, but I wept into my dads chest with the sentence rotating around my head "she'll never see this year." and then "we have to leave her in that year" and again my heart breaks. I went to bed early the next new year, and unless I can figure out a way to get to and from my friends house, I'll go to bed early this year too, avoiding the same heart breaking reminders that my mom isn't here.

I thought this morning how I haven't let myself stop to grieve properly, I don't let myself slow down and really deeply think about memories I share with her. I haven't had a moment or a chance to make a moment to stop and think about the loss I've had and how I feel. I suppose counselling is that moment but I hate saying it out loud because it confirms that it happened, and I long for it not to be real.

This is the part where I breathe and think back to the Anne Frank quote I used in a post a while back... focusing on the beauty that still remains. My world of opportunity to make her proud and lifetime of memories that keep her with me inside. I guess it's okay to keep yourself busy as a distraction from the sadness as I do, and it's okay to avoid situations that may trigger the sadness, because in the moment you decide to avoid it, you think about why it needs avoiding and your problems aren't forgotten - it's just how you quietly deal with it.

And now for me to leave you with some wisdom and advice: don't limit yourself to 5 resolutions. We all know they don't last long so keep adding more and try to work on those as the year goes on. Perhaps even refresh it at the start of every month and reach for all your goals. Have hope in yourself and believe that every year will be your year! No matter if it started well and ended bad, or it was overall better than you anticipated, every year is yours, grab it in the tightest fist and shape it how you want. Yes bad things will happen but you still have control in making good happen too. Don't let go. Make memories, capture them in shameless selfies and write them down in a scrapbook or jar full of notes. Let people know you love them, or that you don't like them - no point holding onto a bad thing. Have hope in good things my friends. Even when you feel like there are no good things, make them.

My wish for you this year is that your life becomes all that you want it to. Your dreams stay big and your worries stay small. You never need to carry more than you can hold. And while you're out there getting to where you need to get to, I hope you know somebody loves you.

I went for a classic look for my wrapping this year and I'm in love with it! Brown paper packages tied up with (string, these are a few of my favourite things) red ribbon. And I've ditched the cards and written what I would have written in them on the paper with a glittery green pen - oh so festive.

I put the 3 wise men in a collage to fit them all nicely in this blog post because I took one in portrait and the other two in landscape. Mom loved these 3 ornaments and I really hope I've done them justice in their glittery robes and proud tiny faces.

She also loved this tall lady. Her dress is shaped like a bell and she's holding a chain of miniature bells. I can never pinpoint why mom loved her so much, her slender, dainty figure or all the glitter - maybe both :)

This is one of my favourite ladies on the tree, my dancing fairy :)

Another ornament I chose. Me and mom would go to the gift fair every year to shop around for presents and ornaments. This is a bauble I chose form there one year, I remember being pleased with myself for finding one mom loved just as much as I did.

I love lots of the snowmen on the tree, they're just so cute!

Firstly, a while ago I decided to stop categorising my blog posts because sometimes it's hard to title it with just one topic or any at all so in the new year I'll just give it a title and send the post on it's merry way. Although I may still let you know which ones will be photography posts.

My dad asked me the other day if I had a bit of a writers block because I posted another blog of photos - I mean I love photography but yes I've been kind of stuck for things to write about, but then I had the idea to write about the fact I have nothing to talk about. I noticed this week that I'm bored. I am grateful that I have been well educated unlike many poor souls out in the world and I turn up every day for my lessons and shut up and get on with it, as I have always done - unless I'm too unwell to stand or hold in my dinner obviously.

But quite frankly I'm bloody bored of it. Waking up early to groggily walk to a building full of people that annoy me (until recently with my new pals - they're the only thing that keep me sane, and Mrs Klerides my media teacher #TopBants) and then finally returning home and having to sit there and continue working - I don't enjoy it. And it's the main cause for my many mental breakdowns.

For the most part, school has never been tremendously enjoyable for me. It makes me want to hide in my shell and makes me feel underappreciated. It's a bit of a shit hole really. I respect that other people would die for this privileged I have but they can have my place if they so wish. I'm bored of this routine - I can't remember doing anything with my life other than school and the fun days out and holidays fitted in around it. I want to try something new. Get a job, learn to drive, drive to said job. Get my own place and decorate it just the way I want. Travel to new places with my camera and capture the beauty of the world I can't go and see yet because I'm stuck in this rut.

And you're ever so mistaken if you think I'm going to uni - at any point in life. I've said to people I'll take a gap year to think more about photography courses for the year after but really, I'm having a gap life to get hands on with photography and dive straight in. I need something new and more stimulating to wake up for in the morning.

It's driving me completely bonkers, I can't wait until my last exam is over! Yes I'll then have the almighty struggle of passing my driving tests but that's something I've always wanted to achieve so I don't mind that struggle. And the struggle of finding an employer that has some part in photography - my social anxiety and lack of conversation skills are a barrier I'm willing to nervously break in order to get myself an income off anything to do with photos - really, I'm prepared to even start at the bottom printing off someone else's photos before I get to conduct a photoshoot or sell prints of my own.

I want to one day be able to legitimately call myself a "photographer" (or even a blogger while we're at it) and I'm not waiting any longer to get started on that road - as much as 3 years at uni will probably help.

Please, if you have any advice on finding jobs, getting interviews or any suggestions of potential work places in Birmingham (be it like Max Spielmann prining shops, Jessops camera selling shops or a studio I really don't mind where I start as long as I get out of this school routine) do let me know in the comments below or on Twitter. Any tips would be much appreciated. Or you can start a conversation - are you bored of school routine too?

Everyone's a sucker for these "feet in the golden fallen leaves" shot aren't they. (well I sure am at least)

This stream was one of the first things we came across on the trail at the bottom of the Lickey Hills. It was nice to try out capturing water at different shutter speeds but this is my favourite from the stream because you can see the movement and bubbles in the water as well as the autumn leaves sitting along the rocks, which bring in colour to the scene.

I do like an old wooden bench, I feel like they show age and a story - particularly ones with a memorial plaque on them. And the sea of orange surrounding this bench was too good not to take a photo of.

Such orange, very autumn.

I like these leaves because of their shape, spreading out like fingers on a hand. And the ombre they had as the green transitioned into red just before they were due to fall. I'm sure the ground is smothered in these leaves by now.

It was mainly my dad who admired the moss on the trees but after he encouraged me to get a couple snaps, I began to admire the strange green texture too.

I then thought I would try looking upwards at the leaves left on top of the tree. If I had to take this shot again I'd put it on a higher aperture to include more of the moss texture on the bark as well as the leafy roof.

I then found quite a humongous leaf and decided to take some fun photos with it and my dad. It was lovely to allow something so simple be a source of entertainment for 10 minutes, taking it in turns to hide and peer from behind the leaf and laugh at each other.

For this I changed to my standard zoom lens but still on aperture priority. I zoomed so that I could appear close to the mass of ducks but still able to keep my distance and not disturb their chill time.

We drove to the top of the Lickey Hills and I put on my telephoto lens to get some landscape shots. This is my favourite out of the bunch because of the way the hills in the distance meet in the middle of the frame. By this point it grew colder, windier and cloudier so I quickly took the photos I wanted and escaped back into the warmth of the car (which meant these shots aren't as perfectly executed but hey we live and learn) while dad stopped to chat to an old colleague, who was walking his dog.

As always, let me know which ones are your favourites and feel free to @ me on twitter or instagram so I can see some of your autumn snaps too before we head into winter. Winter photography is something I'm yet to try as I know the moist, cold air isn't a good friend to cameras but I will most likely get plenty of festive photos over the Christmas season to share with you all.