Hi hi! I hope you are all well and have had a pleasant week. This week I've been working hard setting myself the task of slowly but surely building up my portfolio, sharing what I feel is my best work over on PurplePort. As much as I want and need one I've made a pathetic job of looking for... a job or career in photography, I'm brilliant at ignoring my problems *rolls eyes* Besides me feeling like a bit of a let down in that area (and unnamed others), I have pushed myself to take baby steps towards the direction of launching myself into the horrible "real world".

I have found a scrap of motivation within this new, intriguing website to encourage me to publish my work on it and as a result not only making me build up a portfolio but also get my work seen by studios, photographers and models alike, which hopefully helps in getting more chance of work. The fact I know being a successful and financially stable photographer is much easier said than done and works out so very neatly and unrealistic in my head puts me off from trying from fear of rejection or failure, and so I'm clinging onto this growing online portfolio for dear life and praying somebody begs me to work with/for them. That would be the easiest and most idealistic route for a job aye.

My doubts about my future and career make me hesitant, but I know that I love being in the studio and perfecting my images to share. I want to do nothing else but  please people with my photography because photography makes me happy and I want to share that feeling. So in this slither of progress I place hope that each step will get bigger and better and one day I pray I can look back from where I dream to be.

And so I encourage you all, in whatever large or small task you have facing you, take baby steps towards the goal and hopefully one day you'll glance over your shoulder and see how far you've gone and how much you have achieved, and continue on taking strides with a smile. Even the smallest of achievements matter. Perhaps we can help each other with little bursts of motivation to cling on to during this rocky road, or share your own journeys to success for the rest of us to admire and believe that although we all have different paths, goals and difficulties, everyone in turn can overcome whatever rut they're in.

Firstly, a while ago I decided to stop categorising my blog posts because sometimes it's hard to title it with just one topic or any at all so in the new year I'll just give it a title and send the post on it's merry way. Although I may still let you know which ones will be photography posts.

My dad asked me the other day if I had a bit of a writers block because I posted another blog of photos - I mean I love photography but yes I've been kind of stuck for things to write about, but then I had the idea to write about the fact I have nothing to talk about. I noticed this week that I'm bored. I am grateful that I have been well educated unlike many poor souls out in the world and I turn up every day for my lessons and shut up and get on with it, as I have always done - unless I'm too unwell to stand or hold in my dinner obviously.

But quite frankly I'm bloody bored of it. Waking up early to groggily walk to a building full of people that annoy me (until recently with my new pals - they're the only thing that keep me sane, and Mrs Klerides my media teacher #TopBants) and then finally returning home and having to sit there and continue working - I don't enjoy it. And it's the main cause for my many mental breakdowns.

For the most part, school has never been tremendously enjoyable for me. It makes me want to hide in my shell and makes me feel underappreciated. It's a bit of a shit hole really. I respect that other people would die for this privileged I have but they can have my place if they so wish. I'm bored of this routine - I can't remember doing anything with my life other than school and the fun days out and holidays fitted in around it. I want to try something new. Get a job, learn to drive, drive to said job. Get my own place and decorate it just the way I want. Travel to new places with my camera and capture the beauty of the world I can't go and see yet because I'm stuck in this rut.

And you're ever so mistaken if you think I'm going to uni - at any point in life. I've said to people I'll take a gap year to think more about photography courses for the year after but really, I'm having a gap life to get hands on with photography and dive straight in. I need something new and more stimulating to wake up for in the morning.

It's driving me completely bonkers, I can't wait until my last exam is over! Yes I'll then have the almighty struggle of passing my driving tests but that's something I've always wanted to achieve so I don't mind that struggle. And the struggle of finding an employer that has some part in photography - my social anxiety and lack of conversation skills are a barrier I'm willing to nervously break in order to get myself an income off anything to do with photos - really, I'm prepared to even start at the bottom printing off someone else's photos before I get to conduct a photoshoot or sell prints of my own.

I want to one day be able to legitimately call myself a "photographer" (or even a blogger while we're at it) and I'm not waiting any longer to get started on that road - as much as 3 years at uni will probably help.

Please, if you have any advice on finding jobs, getting interviews or any suggestions of potential work places in Birmingham (be it like Max Spielmann prining shops, Jessops camera selling shops or a studio I really don't mind where I start as long as I get out of this school routine) do let me know in the comments below or on Twitter. Any tips would be much appreciated. Or you can start a conversation - are you bored of school routine too?

Ideally, I would love to become a professional photographer of anything and everything. I found a couple years ago that I quite liked to take pictures and began taking ones from different perspectives and angles, starting with my iPod, then my mom's digital camera, then mu iPhone and now my very own DSLR. The fact that I now have my own proper camera makes me want to be a photographer even more. I love taking creative photos and editing the colours and showing friends and family and hearing them admire and appreciate the moment I've captured. I'm fascinated by photography. How cameras work and how printed photographs hold a memory for a life time. There's nothing that I don't enjoy about photography, except maybe when I can't figure out which setting is best or the image is blurred/out of focus.

My college know I enjoy photography so recently asked me to take some photos of a senior tea party, a little event for a small group of elderly people who we entertain for an hour or two. The head of sixth form and the teacher running the "party" said that the past few times the photos have been bad so no pressure. I still enjoyed it anyway, though I wasn't too confident with a different camera and people watching me, both my own age and older, there was a bit of pressure but I feel some photos I took were alright.

Work experience is coming up soon and I'm so nervous about meeting new people and interacting with them, I'm keen to learn the ropes on a professional level. I don't know much about manual photography either so hopefully I will learn so much about my camera and others while I'm at my placement in town. I have no idea how I'm going to get there or what to wear or what to say or what to do but I hope that I will quickly become relaxed and friendly with the team there so that I can show them my potential and passion for photography. Who knows, they may even welcome me back after I've secured my creative A levels for a paid job. My sixth form doesn't host photography as an A level and me being socially awkward and anxious I didn't want to venture out to another sixth form/college to learn photography and make new friends - turns out the greatest friends I'd ever know were right where I am now.

I don't quite know how I'm going to become a successful photographer but I know that I really want to achieve that, so I will try at anything. I will venture out of my comfort zone with camera in hand if that's what it takes. I study media and art so I'm sure that will come in handy for photography as I'm aware that it's not just about taking snaps of pretty moments, there's set ups to deal with in order to take the pretty picture and marketing to let people know that you take pretty pictures so they can pay you to take more. Maybe English literature will help too.

I know that I wouldn't like a desk job. I mean I'd love a desk to work on at home but I would not like to be sat doing meaningless tasks for a living. I want to explore and take interesting photos and earn my money for stepping outside. Something I was known for not doing as a child. I'm not too keen on the idea of university either. Living in a hall fending for yourself and going to long lectures about subjects isn't appealing to me, though I understand it's an "experience", I'm not sure it's one I would like to try, and I don't want to force it and have to drop out. I'd love to have a creative job because I'm a creative person, I always have been. I'm not good at maths or science or anything relative to that, I just don't understand it even when I'm getting it right, I don't know what I'm doing. Creativity comes naturally to me and you don't necessarily have to understand all the cogs within it.

I'm not a confident socialite, but I'm reminding myself that this work experience placement may help me massively so that I can make something out of this hobby. My mom taught me since forever that it's important to do a job you love because then it's worth it in the end and you don't mind when things go wrong because you can make up for it tomorrow, and you will want to go again tomorrow after a bad day because you love what you do. "If you do a job you love, you'll never have to work a day in your life". It's taken me years to find a hobby that I adore, and one that could make me an income is exciting.