As I was looking for a photo to begin this weeks blog post with - as ever- I stumbled across this one. I usually have a profound quote for posts that aren't photography based but I felt this one was just as powerful all on it's own. It makes me want to hide in my moms wardrobe, taking in her smell and wrapping myself in as close to a mommy hug as I can get. From mid November until mid February, things are very difficult for me and I miss my mom the most during this time as everything happens, beginning with my birthday (which is also her anniversary so I never know what I'm feeling) then Christmas, new year (the worst) and ending with her birthday. Then I feel like things calm down and I can continue missing her every day but not so intense, then unexpectedly, Mother's Day sneaks up on me.
Yesterday I walked past a Card Factory with a friend who realised that she needed to get a birthday card so headed into the shop and I found myself pausing to take a breath as if I was about to dive into the sea. Metaphorically I was diving into a sea of "mothers day tat" (although there was a mug in there that said "I am so lucky to have such a perfect child" which I found most amusing). Nevertheless, I just headed straight to the back by the aged cards and started looking through them, ignoring the collection of people I just squeezed myself through as they picked out cards and mugs and cushions for their own mothers.
Then it occurs to me I should get a little something for my grandmothers and godmothers, as they are who I have to "celebrate" mothers day with now, but a little too late to send things off to them now inbetween finishing school work - I'll work on being more prepared to appreciate my extra mothers next year than worrying about missing the one I lost. If any of my lovely ladies are reading, last year's mother's day post [x] still applies and I love you all very much.
That wasn't as tear jerking as it seemed it was going to be in my head, although if it was for you then I have some tissues here that you may have [insert virtual tissues here]. We shouldn't take to commercialism and buy into just one day for appreciating your mom but even so, bring a tea to her bedside in the morning as I used to do and write sweet words in a pretty card for her and buy her the flowers she loves the most. And even do it on random days of the year too so she knows just how much you love her all year round.
Tomorrow I have the happy distraction of a photoshoot with the lovely Steve and Deb so I shall depart from you now and get my camera ready - to be honest it's in some need of loving, the poor thing hasn't had much use with all this never ending school work that consumes my time. *heavy sigh* right-o, I love and leave you.
Cheerio loved ones, Beky x
