I've just written in my brother's birthday card for his 19th in two weeks-ish, and as always I threw in a bit of banter in there. I called him an asshole and a dickhead but I told him I loved him and I would be there for him and all of that is true.

We bicker and he has a go at me for doing annoying things but then gets all defensive when I give him a taste of his own medicine, then at the end of the day after I've told him "stop giving me shit like it's banter with your friends because you're the last person I will take shit from so don't try it on me bitch", he will tell me he'll stop and try to be better and then sort of doesn't. But I guess that's okay because my message will ever change but I will always try to get along with him, whatever mood he is in. Most times that gets rejected and I just walk away because he always fuckin hits my way harder than I hit him it's ridiculous really.

We have some things in common like our massive love for All Time Low, relatively un-colourful wardrobes, parents, desire to be amazing at playing guitar, sense of humour, need for straightening our fringes, sugar in our coffee, liking of custard cream biscuits and more. We've always been somewhat close, thinking about it we do actually really piss each other off quite often but we make up for it just to show each other something funny so maybe that's just the way we work.

I'm smarter than my brother in the obvious ways, I can spell better and I passed my GCSEs better than he did. It's actually quite odd how he gets confused by things I find so easy but maybe engineering is easy and natural for him and he gets annoyed at how I can't even concentrate to him explaining it to me. He's just more practical whereas I like to read and write and take photos. I hope we can both make a stable living out of what we love, I'm sure we'd slap each other if either one of us had to listen to what a shit job the other one has all the damn time.

It's a strange relationship really, thinking about it has made it a bit more odd but whatever floats your boat. I hope I can be a good auntie for his kids one day, and him a good uncle (unlike my dad and his sister but lets not get into that, #TeamStephen), and I can tell them embarrassing stories and make them laugh as much as I make Alex laugh. I think my favourite thing to do with Alex is to make him laugh, which happens a lot because I'm so damn hilarious ;)

We have some deep chats too, mostly I listen but I don't mind because I know not many people listen to him and that's why we have the chat in the first place. I'll always be there for my brotherin. I don't even know why I call him brotherin I just like the sound of it. Brotherin. Brethren. Broseph. Brother. Getting away from the point!

I don't show enough gratitude for my brother and I know that. Even in his card I planned to be all emotional and I LOVE YOU but I called him an asshole and a dickhead - sorry. But I do love my brother, I'm not sure what would happen if we fell out for life, it would be mega awkward and difficult as fuck for my dad and I don't want to put him through that after all he's done for me. I love you brother.







I've spelled brother wrong every time I've written it, what a piss take.