Yep. Definitely didn't forget I even owned a blog... Whoops. Forgive me friends. And hello! My oh my are things getting crazy. Not only am I trying to maintain a social life and failing to remember to text people with a substantial conversation. But I'm swamped with homework that never seems to allow enough time for actually revising and remembering all the work for the real exams. Ugh teenage life is hard.

After having two weeks off for Easter I'm way out of routine and I can't keep on top of anything and everything's all rushed back at once. Quite frankly I just want to sleep for 3000 years and if I close my eyes for long enough right now that may happen. I miss my bed. And I miss talking to my best friend Gemma. But there's just not enough hours in the day to have some time off. And procrastination doesn't help yet still just... happens.

I cannot wait for summer to come and to leave education. Not only to get some refreshing sleep that leaves me actually feeling awake but to chill, stress free. Chatting to my friends and having some quality camera time. At the same time I'm so scared for the next step and joining "the big real world" as adults call it. I could probably complain about school for hours but right now I'm just so tired from it. It's a lot of hard work and brain effort.

I always have to straighten things out in my head before I can start. I have to mentally tidy up my brain then physically tidy up the work space. Lay it out in my head again then set to work. I'm a visual learner so revision contains a lot of highlighters, coloured pens and imagining the layout of my workbook when thinking back to poems etc. Perhaps next week I shall blog some tips on revising - and most of all remember I own a blog and Saturday is upload day hahaa!

There are so many important things to maintain in life. It's almost like a triangle of "good sleep", "good grades" and "good social life" and you can only pick two. Right now I don't seem to be able to hold up one, but I'm sure we all get like that. And as much as I live for making my family proud with academic achievements and I find such deep comfort in my bed, all I want right now is to be with my Gemma. I'm working on all three agonisingly slowly but hey better late than never I suppose.

What I will leave you with is this. Always keep your mind clean and put your mental wellbeing first. Don't risk having a breakdown with a pile up of stress trying to keep everything intact when it's all a mess in your head. Straighten it out there before you attempt anything, as much as I live by that I still try and leave myself too tired to function like right now. Oh dear Beky...

Take care of yourselves, love to you all and sweet dreams tonight.

Hello! What a week I have had! First, Carrie favourited my tweet and then used it in her video!!!! OH MY GOD!! She's one of the very first people I subscribed to on my youtube channel, which I initially made 4 years ago just so I could subscribe and like and comment on peoples videos so I could show them I enjoyed what they made. And then, the official twitter for Mr Joe Sugg's graphic novel Username Evie retweeted my tweet!! And he runs that account himself! So of course that tweet got a lot of eyeball and favourites, I can't believe it! It's actually INSANE! Wow, my twitter is on fire. Do follow me there, @Bekloukat of course.

Anyway, other than those two absolutely incredible tales that I will surely tell my grandchildren at Christmas dinner from "The Magical List Of Totally Awesome Things Grandma Beky Did In Her Youth", I returned to sixth form college. My last year of school. Whaaaatttt?! I'm beginning to realise that what my parents and literally every adult ever has told me: "Time flies by so fast" and that old chestnut "school is the best years of your life".

The truth I'm now starting to see in the second saying is even scaring me a bit, because every year of school leading up to these last two have been horrible. With bullies, alienation, my best friend moving so so far away, 3 different counsellors and my mom passing away, I can safely say that my school experience has been rather shit. Until I got to sixth form where rules were a little more loose and I could stretch the borders and find myself, express myself and make myself. For sure the best part of sixth form has been finding the greatest friends I thought I could never have (and a cheeky 3 month visit from the best friend really made my year).

I shan't fill you with more soppy platonic love so I shall link you to this here friendship post which we all know and love.

School, or in my case sixth form really is showing to be the best years of my life. After summer I felt my life had lost some purpose and routine as I had nothing to do, day in and day out and I became really bored and fed up with it. But sixth form gives you something to do. It's bloody tedious and stressful but you have something to occupy your time with. And I have my friends which I get to see every day - and I love those guys. Although the business does have an affect on my time communicating with Gemma, but lets face it, absolutely nothing can separate us at the end of the day.

And now I'm lost again, my friends plan to stay another year to solidly secure their a levels as best they can or go off to uni but I've always been repelled by every kind of aspect of university and now I don't know where to go, all I know is that I want to take my camera with me.

Anyway - tell me about your best times at school, whether it was in nursery or university or at some point in the middle, let me know your favourite hilarious moment. I'm sure that will keep us all going until at least Tuesday. *shows bicep* Power on through Monday loved ones! We can do this.

If there's one thing that every teenager has in common, it's stress. Stress from having to please fifty different people all at once, with only 24 hours in one day. People like your parents, teachers, friends, cousins, idols and most importantly yourself. In the end whatever you do pleases you because you're glad you're finished with one task, even though there's another one waiting around the corner. When you're a teen, you're old enough to be doing things for yourself without supervision but also still young enough to be told what to do and when to do it and get told off when it's not done. (And I swear to God deadlines will be the death of me)

We have to do homework if we want to get out of school when it ends and not have to stay behind in a dreaded detention doing it then. We have to do it if we want to do well in school to bring pride to ourselves, our families and our teachers, or even just to graduate successfully as a big "hahaa fuck you I'm knowledgeable" to some arrogant cock who denied you that wisdom. We have to do chores to make our homes a nice place for us to want to hang around in doing said homework or even just living in. And we do it for our parents most of all because they finance the thing and are caught up in their own work to wash the dishes they fed you with or hoover the floor or tidy away some... shit. We have to socialise to connect with people which is beneficial to our health because it's enjoyable (if you're with the right kind of people of course and you like them). We have to live in our hobbies as well, if that's using the internet, making things or reading/watching something. Whatever it may be, we have to work hard and play hard and eat and sleep inbetween otherwise we couldn't function happily.

When we get the work done then we feel proud for doing it and others will be pleased of you for doing it too, even if they may not necessarily have asked you. And once we've worked hard we can relax and indulge in the "play". In the end we do things to benefit ourselves, it's a bit selfish really but whatever we accomplish, we feel better about ourselves for it. That's all we really need to do, keep ourselves happy and content by organising our lives into 24 hours a day so we don't go insane! And when you are happy, you can pass it on to those around you. So don't slack off because you can "do it later" because if you do it now, it's done and you can move on without it niggling at the back of your mind. Don't forget to take breaks either - research says work for 50-60 minutes at a time with 10 minute breaks.

Think, is it really worth never doing? If I do it now, I can forget about it and get on with something more fun. Never sacrifice sleep for any work, no matter who asked you to do it or when it has to be finished by, sleep and you have the energy to finish it at some point the next day. An even split of work and play is best - guilt free.

What I'm saying is, figure out some sort of routine and when motivation is absent, force yourself to stick to it so you can be over with the burdens of chores and work and get on with being a human, having fun and feeling free. You'll feel much better when you have the afternoon/evening to yourself to do anything or nothing.