Aloha dear people and how are you this sunny Saturday. This week was very long for me as I had a three day long art exam - UGH! It went quite alright actually and it was pleasant to sit in the quiet and just paint away. Using my lovely photos I took on one of my trips to Tip Top Photography (which I dearly miss) I painted a series of portraits onto open books to tell a story - the books helping with my whole theme of life stories. I plan to post the bestest ones on my instagram so do be sure to give me a friendly follow [shameless self promo] if you want to see some of what I made.

I totally expected the 15 hours to be the worst thing to go through as my teacher caused me much stress with her mad ideas that I hated but had to go along with. Anyway, I took control at the last second and went awol and did what I wanted to do - painting onto books. I have no idea how successful it will actually be and I'm unsure what grade I'll get for art but I'm just happy that it's all over now and I'm pleased with how it ended up.

Not long before my exam my dad asked me if I'll ever do more art after I finish working on it for formal education and I replied "not for a long time." But while I was painting during the exam I really enjoyed it and almost didn't want it to end and just paint forever so perhaps I will grab another old novel sometime and do a nice painting, however I have no idea how to justify just doing a nice painting and put all that effort in if it's just for enjoyment, what am I supposed to do with it then? Where do I put it? Nevertheless I would like to do a few nice doodles, sketches and maybe even paint in time, without a scouser forcing me to do some weird things - she once told my brother a painting on a car door would be a good idea! I celebrated the end of my suffering last night with a bit o' alcohol, which still remains not to be a messy experience - go me!

After everything I'd still like to make more art because I'm a creative person and now I'd be free to do what I think would look good so it wouldn't be so repelling aye. I would encourage other people to doodle too no matter how awful, and don't compare yourself to others who may be making something more photorealistic than what you're doing, just enjoy the doodle and crafts because without art - everything's just a little bit more boring.

Art doesn't have to just be with a brush or pencil, art comes in many forms and I'd love to not only continue blogging weekly but also get back on the youtube bus because I love a good ol' bit of film making. Anyway I think this lovely comic depicts the message beautifully...

Back in May of 2012 [cartoonist Gavin Aung Than] had seen the (now famous) speech of the bestselling author, Neil Gaiman, who delivered a special commencement address at Philadelphia’s University of the Arts, in which he shared his thoughts about creativity, bravery, and strength. He encouraged the fledgling painters, musicians, writers, and dreamers to break rules and think outside the box. Most of all, he urged them to “Make Good Art”. Now, after seeing this speech, Gavin was inspired to create a special comic strip quoting a small portion of Gaiman’s address. I mean, the speech was about, “Hey! Go Make some ART”, so he did! [source]

I have said a lot so I shall leave you to ponder over it all.

I very nearly simply titled this post "aaarghh" but opted for a nice bit of alliteration instead. Hello you beautiful people and how are you this fine Saturday? I'm never one to shy away from voicing my dislike for the education system, although in polite company I simply say "I'm just sick of it, I want something new." And I do want something new to do with my life, as much as that terrifies me, I don't want to sit in a room with an adult for hours a week listening to information I then have to memorise and write down as my class mates sit in rows either side of me in a large silent room. No more of that please and thank you.

I'm sure I'm not the only one who links strong negative thoughts and words to school/college/sixth form. The only good thing about it is the odd banterous teacher and friends. And even then many teachers are grumpy, demanding and patronising. And many students are annoying, judgemental and loud. Don't get me wrong I love seeing my best friends nearly every day, they bring me out to my best and we have all the fun but it's generally very stressful when you realise what you're forced to do with your life and its all you remember ever doing.

And everyone says it will be easy, "the best years of your life" - and that seriously worries me because throughout school I've had the worst moments in my life so far. Toxic friendships, dark thoughts and a parental bereavement to top it all off! Although I have myself an incredible friend from primary school, secondary school and a few from sixth form who I want to keep close for all eternity, and not to mention the greatest work experience ever, there's not much all fantastic about school for me and I cannot wait to leave. While at the same time, I'm scared of launching into something new. So scared I've been procrastinating finding that something new - I'll work on that this weekend I promise!

First week back at half term hasn't been much different, although my nemesis subject of art is seeming to be bearable right now, what with my teachers backing off a tad after an email from my dad and a week off they are refreshed - unlike me who worked non stop. Other than that, it's still full steam ahead towards exam day, both seeming like days and years away. I constantly worry about a lot of things, like not having enough money, not having enough time to complete homework or revision or having a social life or even some alone time. And in every possible aspect, not being good enough.

I worry my work isn't good enough most of all. My blog posts, my homework, my class notes, my photography. Even sometimes if my instagram posts or tweets aren't "insta-worthy" enough or aesthetic enough or funny. I know I shouldn't and it's silly but hey, that's how I've always been.

Working out what triggers stress for you can help you anticipate problems and think of ways to solve them. Even if you can't avoid these situations, being prepared can help. Making some adjustments to the way you organise your time could help you feel more in control of any tasks you're facing, and more able to handle pressure. Make a list of things you have to do, arrange them in order of importance, and try to focus on the most urgent first. Try not to do much at once and take breaks, take it slowly - which is difficult when you feel stuck for time and your mind is all over the place but you have to take it easy to overcome all the stress in the long run.

I break things down and prioritise them, I work up to the more difficult larger tasks but I do the ones that have the closest deadline first. That way I have as much time possible to not have to worry about it after it's done, and more time to work on the other things. Taking steps to look after your wellbeing can help you deal with pressure and reduce the impact that stress has on your life. Here are some tips on how you can "develop resilience" and "bounce back" from difficult times.

Feel free to comment below and share your own tips of how you deal with stress, or if anything I've offered here has been helpful to you. I wish you all a happy and stress-free Saturday.

Hello! What a week I have had! First, Carrie favourited my tweet and then used it in her video!!!! OH MY GOD!! She's one of the very first people I subscribed to on my youtube channel, which I initially made 4 years ago just so I could subscribe and like and comment on peoples videos so I could show them I enjoyed what they made. And then, the official twitter for Mr Joe Sugg's graphic novel Username Evie retweeted my tweet!! And he runs that account himself! So of course that tweet got a lot of eyeball and favourites, I can't believe it! It's actually INSANE! Wow, my twitter is on fire. Do follow me there, @Bekloukat of course.

Anyway, other than those two absolutely incredible tales that I will surely tell my grandchildren at Christmas dinner from "The Magical List Of Totally Awesome Things Grandma Beky Did In Her Youth", I returned to sixth form college. My last year of school. Whaaaatttt?! I'm beginning to realise that what my parents and literally every adult ever has told me: "Time flies by so fast" and that old chestnut "school is the best years of your life".

The truth I'm now starting to see in the second saying is even scaring me a bit, because every year of school leading up to these last two have been horrible. With bullies, alienation, my best friend moving so so far away, 3 different counsellors and my mom passing away, I can safely say that my school experience has been rather shit. Until I got to sixth form where rules were a little more loose and I could stretch the borders and find myself, express myself and make myself. For sure the best part of sixth form has been finding the greatest friends I thought I could never have (and a cheeky 3 month visit from the best friend really made my year).

I shan't fill you with more soppy platonic love so I shall link you to this here friendship post which we all know and love.

School, or in my case sixth form really is showing to be the best years of my life. After summer I felt my life had lost some purpose and routine as I had nothing to do, day in and day out and I became really bored and fed up with it. But sixth form gives you something to do. It's bloody tedious and stressful but you have something to occupy your time with. And I have my friends which I get to see every day - and I love those guys. Although the business does have an affect on my time communicating with Gemma, but lets face it, absolutely nothing can separate us at the end of the day.

And now I'm lost again, my friends plan to stay another year to solidly secure their a levels as best they can or go off to uni but I've always been repelled by every kind of aspect of university and now I don't know where to go, all I know is that I want to take my camera with me.

Anyway - tell me about your best times at school, whether it was in nursery or university or at some point in the middle, let me know your favourite hilarious moment. I'm sure that will keep us all going until at least Tuesday. *shows bicep* Power on through Monday loved ones! We can do this.

I haven't uploaded anything these past two weeks whilst I've been on work experience in town. I haven't had much free time to sit down and edit a video or think about something to write about, I've only just caught up on two weeks worth of my YouTube subscriptions, which will grow again by the time I'm home. But it has been very enjoyable getting hands on in the business, gathering and sharing information and taking my own photos that clients want to keep.

The people who work in the building are the friendliest and though I haven't strayed too far from my quiet self it has been nice to work with some genuinely lovely people and watching them have jokes with each other as friends and family members share the working space. I do hope to keep in touch and work with them in similar ways I have done now or even hiring out their studio in the future for something exciting.

Nevertheless, though these past two weeks have been very enriching for me I am so aware of how much I've been slacking on writing blog posts and editing a video. Even though I enjoy doing it, it takes me a while to force myself into the mood of sitting down to get it done so I can share positivity and humour via the wonderful world wide web.

I have considered cutting down my blogging to once a week and my video uploads to once a fortnight, but would you be happy with that cut down on uploads?

Please let me know what you think, I will try my hardest to get a video up this week but I worry that might not happen. I will try to get back into some sort of routine with life itself and become more regular with many things, but my contribution to the internet through this blog and my YouTube channel in particular are important to me. Even if they don't get much attention, I still enjoy giving it my all.

Ideally, I would love to become a professional photographer of anything and everything. I found a couple years ago that I quite liked to take pictures and began taking ones from different perspectives and angles, starting with my iPod, then my mom's digital camera, then mu iPhone and now my very own DSLR. The fact that I now have my own proper camera makes me want to be a photographer even more. I love taking creative photos and editing the colours and showing friends and family and hearing them admire and appreciate the moment I've captured. I'm fascinated by photography. How cameras work and how printed photographs hold a memory for a life time. There's nothing that I don't enjoy about photography, except maybe when I can't figure out which setting is best or the image is blurred/out of focus.

My college know I enjoy photography so recently asked me to take some photos of a senior tea party, a little event for a small group of elderly people who we entertain for an hour or two. The head of sixth form and the teacher running the "party" said that the past few times the photos have been bad so no pressure. I still enjoyed it anyway, though I wasn't too confident with a different camera and people watching me, both my own age and older, there was a bit of pressure but I feel some photos I took were alright.

Work experience is coming up soon and I'm so nervous about meeting new people and interacting with them, I'm keen to learn the ropes on a professional level. I don't know much about manual photography either so hopefully I will learn so much about my camera and others while I'm at my placement in town. I have no idea how I'm going to get there or what to wear or what to say or what to do but I hope that I will quickly become relaxed and friendly with the team there so that I can show them my potential and passion for photography. Who knows, they may even welcome me back after I've secured my creative A levels for a paid job. My sixth form doesn't host photography as an A level and me being socially awkward and anxious I didn't want to venture out to another sixth form/college to learn photography and make new friends - turns out the greatest friends I'd ever know were right where I am now.

I don't quite know how I'm going to become a successful photographer but I know that I really want to achieve that, so I will try at anything. I will venture out of my comfort zone with camera in hand if that's what it takes. I study media and art so I'm sure that will come in handy for photography as I'm aware that it's not just about taking snaps of pretty moments, there's set ups to deal with in order to take the pretty picture and marketing to let people know that you take pretty pictures so they can pay you to take more. Maybe English literature will help too.

I know that I wouldn't like a desk job. I mean I'd love a desk to work on at home but I would not like to be sat doing meaningless tasks for a living. I want to explore and take interesting photos and earn my money for stepping outside. Something I was known for not doing as a child. I'm not too keen on the idea of university either. Living in a hall fending for yourself and going to long lectures about subjects isn't appealing to me, though I understand it's an "experience", I'm not sure it's one I would like to try, and I don't want to force it and have to drop out. I'd love to have a creative job because I'm a creative person, I always have been. I'm not good at maths or science or anything relative to that, I just don't understand it even when I'm getting it right, I don't know what I'm doing. Creativity comes naturally to me and you don't necessarily have to understand all the cogs within it.

I'm not a confident socialite, but I'm reminding myself that this work experience placement may help me massively so that I can make something out of this hobby. My mom taught me since forever that it's important to do a job you love because then it's worth it in the end and you don't mind when things go wrong because you can make up for it tomorrow, and you will want to go again tomorrow after a bad day because you love what you do. "If you do a job you love, you'll never have to work a day in your life". It's taken me years to find a hobby that I adore, and one that could make me an income is exciting.

If there's one thing that every teenager has in common, it's stress. Stress from having to please fifty different people all at once, with only 24 hours in one day. People like your parents, teachers, friends, cousins, idols and most importantly yourself. In the end whatever you do pleases you because you're glad you're finished with one task, even though there's another one waiting around the corner. When you're a teen, you're old enough to be doing things for yourself without supervision but also still young enough to be told what to do and when to do it and get told off when it's not done. (And I swear to God deadlines will be the death of me)

We have to do homework if we want to get out of school when it ends and not have to stay behind in a dreaded detention doing it then. We have to do it if we want to do well in school to bring pride to ourselves, our families and our teachers, or even just to graduate successfully as a big "hahaa fuck you I'm knowledgeable" to some arrogant cock who denied you that wisdom. We have to do chores to make our homes a nice place for us to want to hang around in doing said homework or even just living in. And we do it for our parents most of all because they finance the thing and are caught up in their own work to wash the dishes they fed you with or hoover the floor or tidy away some... shit. We have to socialise to connect with people which is beneficial to our health because it's enjoyable (if you're with the right kind of people of course and you like them). We have to live in our hobbies as well, if that's using the internet, making things or reading/watching something. Whatever it may be, we have to work hard and play hard and eat and sleep inbetween otherwise we couldn't function happily.

When we get the work done then we feel proud for doing it and others will be pleased of you for doing it too, even if they may not necessarily have asked you. And once we've worked hard we can relax and indulge in the "play". In the end we do things to benefit ourselves, it's a bit selfish really but whatever we accomplish, we feel better about ourselves for it. That's all we really need to do, keep ourselves happy and content by organising our lives into 24 hours a day so we don't go insane! And when you are happy, you can pass it on to those around you. So don't slack off because you can "do it later" because if you do it now, it's done and you can move on without it niggling at the back of your mind. Don't forget to take breaks either - research says work for 50-60 minutes at a time with 10 minute breaks.

Think, is it really worth never doing? If I do it now, I can forget about it and get on with something more fun. Never sacrifice sleep for any work, no matter who asked you to do it or when it has to be finished by, sleep and you have the energy to finish it at some point the next day. An even split of work and play is best - guilt free.

What I'm saying is, figure out some sort of routine and when motivation is absent, force yourself to stick to it so you can be over with the burdens of chores and work and get on with being a human, having fun and feeling free. You'll feel much better when you have the afternoon/evening to yourself to do anything or nothing.